A new year begins with the intention of a new start a new beginning in life of positiveness, truth, inspiration, hope and love. But as days roll by, patience is tested and the thought of the future holding a glimmer of happiness and easier times is slowly disassembled leaving you wondering why, what have i done to feel so anxious, so nervy, so empty and destroyed within. You find yourself yelling and screaming looking up above, why are you doing this to me angels and guides, what have i done to deserve my GPS skitzing out so I don’t know where I’m going except around and around in circles using up the petrol in my car that if I’m lucky enough will now only make its way home; why does my bank account freeze when I’m checking my balance to see if i have a few dollars so i can buy myself a cup of tea just so i can have a moment to breath and calm my soul; why when i feel so close to achieving a dream an obstacle to big to go around takes precedent to your dream to which the dream is diminished and the obstacle becomes now your first priority making you feel deflated and your dream now even further from your reach, you were so close you could almost touch it but poof, its gone. Tears begin to flow, the feeling of emptiness and loneliness rears its ugly head again; you thought that these feelings had gone, that this new year was going to be different from the rest because you’ve made peace with yourself and put your past to rest as well as changing your behaviours and ideals as to what you now allow and accept into your life; but you are now left with doubting your faith, your beliefs and your trust in surrendering into the universe to guide you on your path and destiny of happiness. What has happened to lead you here again.
Next thing you go home and your sitting in front of your bookshelf then a book which you haven’t look at for years randomly catches your eye, you pick it up and the book opens up to a page which says: “Whatever is happening to us now mirrors our past karma.” It then follows on further to say; “When we upset or hurt someone, didn’t it rebound on us? Were we not left with a bitter and dark memory, and the shadows of self-disgust? That memory and those shadows are karma.” “Our habits and our fears too are also due to karma, the result of actions, words, or thoughts we have done in the past. If we examine our actions, and become really mindful of them, we will see that there is a pattern that repeats itself in our actions” “Whenever we act negatively, it leads to pain and suffering; whenever we act positively, it eventually results in happiness.” It also then states that Tibetans say that suffering is “a broom that sweeps away all our negative karma.” This book is called ‘The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying’ (p96).
So i guess what i am facing is that i need to remember to breath more often, and be mindful of my intentions, over-ride my negativity into more positive actions and feelings, have faith, and be more gentle towards the universe, my angels and guides, and think about what the Tibetans believed and said, that when we face suffering in our lives it gives us an opportunity to to ‘sweep away all our negative karma’; when days come along again like these, i will remind myself to take it as a blessing, pick up my broom, and sweep sweep sweep, to sweep away my past karma and make way for the path i was intended to walk which finds me right back to the beginning… A new year begins with the intention of a new start a new beginning of positiveness, truth, inspiration, hope and love…Blessings.
Michelle Andrew © 27-May-14